Fresh Voice Beth Bartlett!

What is your ultimate writing goal?
Ultimate. That sounds so final. In the end, I want to make people laugh and leave my mark on the world. I’d prefer all that happen with a few books. Okay, a lot of books. After I’m gone, my ghost would be happy if people downloaded my writing into their brain, and it made them snort caffeine-free coffee substitute all over their virtual monitor.

Why do you write?
Because I must! If I were ever in a 12-step Writers Anon program, I would be the jittery one with noun patches all over my arms, scribbling ideas on my jeans with the tip of my finger. I started writing stories in chalk on the underside of my father’s desk when I was four, and I’ve never stopped. Soon I’ll need a new desk.

Have you worked to achieve your voice or is it just a natural style for you?
It’s a natural style that evolves with time, depending on my interests and influences at the moment. I’ve always had a strong and slightly bizarre voice. When I was younger, I stifled that and went through the typical phase of imitating great writers. I think ever y writer has to go through that to find his or her own style; it’s like trying on everything in the second-hand store before you go home and cut your own patterns. Once you learn from the masters, you know how to bring your own honesty out and slap it on the page.

Who are your favorite authors and why do you like them?
The names carved into my heart are Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. They have the ability to take
words and turn them into the craziest, most delightful balloon animals. I’m also hooked on Gini
Koch’s “Alien” series and Kevin Hearne’s mythologically lush “Iron Druid” series. Koch’s books are fast- paced, funny and sexy. I have to own each one as soon as they’re released. Hearne’s books pile in magic, history, religion and the paranormal. Each one makes me slap my head and say “Of course! That’s how the universe really works.” Even though he’s only written one novel so far, Craig Ferguson’s “Between the Bridge and the River” inspired me for an entire summer. He broke the rules in ways I’d never seen before, such as turning throwaway moments into tiny side stories.

What most attracts you to the life of a writer?
The solitude. I’m a hermit at heart. I also enjoy sweatpants. In my day work as a freelancer, I’ll
occasionally stop and giggle, because I’m making a living by pulling words out of my head and building an article someone wants to pay me for. For my own interests, it’s the urge to create, to take the demons and angels in my mind and wrap them around the wire forms of language. If all goes well, those works stand on their own and provoke a reaction in the reader.

If you couldn't be a writer but knew you were guaranteed success at a different career, what
would you choose?
I can imagine a lot of crazy things, but I can’t imagine my life without writing. What’s success without being stressed over deadlines, worried about contracts, scared of writer’s block and frustrated by blog stats? That’s writerly happiness, right there. If I had to pick something, it would be 1970s pop culture television historian, and I would write about it in secret so the universe would never know.

If you had to describe your writing in one word, what would that word be?
Dorkalicious.

What's the best writing advice you've ever gotten?
Never give up. Never. Give. Up. NEVER GIVE UP! If you give up, the terrorists win. If you give up, every person who said you couldn’t be a writer will be right. I’ve heard that from so many writers, and it’s true. If you give up, Muppets sob in dark corners with stripper glitter matted in their fur and half-empty tequila bottles between their knees. If you give up, you have to go back to being normal, and none of us are really equipped to do that.


Beth Bartlett is a freelance writer and humorist. Her work has appeared in such publications as
Writer’s Digest, mental_floss, Country Extra, Meetings South and American Profile. She writes a
weekly humor horoscope column for the Lovely County Citizen newspaper and for her own site,
WisecrackZodiac.com. In her spare moments of sanity, she also contributes to the Bombeck-style humor site AnArmyofErmas.com and indulges her nerdy side at PureGeek.me. You can also catch her discussing Wonder Woman and writing on Twitter as @plaidearthworm.

Blooming Author Rick Gualtieri!

Rick Gualtieri’s latest book, Bigfoot Hunters, was published on February 2, 2012. Bigfoot Hunters is self-published, as are all of Rick’s books. Since I'm the Blogsquatcher's sister I knew this was one to check out.

Tell us about your book. What is it about and where will it be available?

Bigfoot Hunters is my first foray into full blown horror.  If Jaws made you afraid to go into the water, then my goal for Bigfoot Hunters is to make people think twice about stepping into their own backyards. 

Sasquatch is usually considered a shy, curious creature. However, something is wrong with this particular clan of them and it’s causing them to go nuts...murderously so.  The only thing standing between them and killing everyone, in a remote little town in the backwoods of Colorado, are some college kids on a camping trip and a film crew from a MonsterQuest type TV show.  However, this last group isn’t quite what they seem, hence the book’s title.  The only question is...who are the hunters and who are the hunted?  The book is available now as an Amazon Kindle exclusive.  The Paperback version will be available the week of February 13...just in time for Valentine’s Day (awwww!)."

What were your inspirations for your book? What sorts of thing inspire you as a writer in general?

I have to admit, the original inspiration for this book came from the SyFy channel.  I love their Saturday night original movies.  Unfortunately, most of them are bad with a capital B.  Bigfoot Hunters was originally conceived as a manuscript in my attempt to make a better monster movie.  However, after a while I realized it could be a movie script that nobody ever saw or I could make it into a novel that hopefully a lot of people could enjoy.  Aside from that, I took inspiration from shows such as the aforementioned MonsterQuest and Destination Truth.  The final bit was my overall love of a good monster rampage and desire to give back to a genre which has entertained me so much over the years.

As for the rest, I try to take inspiration from anything and everything around me.  Little touches of life spark my imagination.  When that happens, the “magic” flows forth.

Let's talk about your process. How do you approach a story, do you start with outlines or something else? Where did you work when writing your book? Do you think it was the optimal writing environment for you?

My writing style is still evolving.  My comedy/horror books: Bill The Vampire and Scary Dead Things; are mostly written like a college road trip.  I know where I am and I know where I want to be, but I have no idea how I’ll get there until I start driving.  It works for them because I find that humor is best when it’s spontaneous.  Some of the best jokes in both of those books didn’t exist before the day I sat down to write a particular section and suddenly *BAM* they were there.

Conversely, Bigfoot Hunters was more or less fully formed when I finally sat down to write it.  I jotted down notes before and during writing, but truthfully I only used outlines if I needed to work through a difficult section of the book.

Most of my writing time is during the evening at my dining room table, banging away on my iPad.  It’s kind of a necessity.  It puts me in the center of the action, so I can write but still keep an eye on my kids if needbe.  It’s chaotic, but I’m used to it and the background noise really doesn’t distract me...although my word output does go up a bit after their bedtime.  As for the iPad, I love it.  I pair it with a Bluetooth keyboard and the battery life lets me write for hours (when I can) without needing to be anywhere near an outlet.

Tell us about your "story of getting published."

I used to write a LOT back in college: short stories, plays, manuscripts, everything but full blown novels.  Afterwards, though, I sort of fell away from it.  Life, career, and family took over.  A few years back, I bought my wife a first-gen Kindle as a gift.  Believe me, it got used...to death!  Some time later, I began to notice a lot of ebooks showing up in the Kindle store that were written by authors I had never heard of and were at prices that were insanely low.  Coming from the world of paperbacks, finding a $2.99 novel was a steal.  Eventually I came to realize that a lot of these books were self-published.  That got the gears turning.  Suddenly, that sleeping writer in my head woke up from a decade long slumber. If they could do it, so could I.  Once the floodgates were reopened, the story ideas just started flowing.  I’ve been at it ever since: three novels, a novella of short stories, and counting.

The self-publishing route was an easy choice...timing.  I could write dozens of query letters in the hope that someone liked my stories and then I could wait a year or two to see if they actually published me...or I could get my stories out there now and let the readers be my judge. Some authors worry about the legitimacy of being traditionally published. I’m more concerned with entertaining people.

What are the publicity plans you have coming up?

My publicity efforts are ever evolving as I add more books and gain more self-assurance in this field.  To date, most of my efforts have been online.  There’s no faster (or cost effective) way to get in front of so many people.  I’m very active on Twitter.  The main character from my comedy/horror series has his own Facebook page (www.facebook.com/BillTheVampire).  I am also working on increasing my presence in various other online communities such as Kindle Boards and Goodreads.  There are also author interviews on wonderful blogs such as this (suck up alert!).

This year my goal is be more aggressive (albeit not obnoxiously so), not only online but in the real world too.  While I’m not sure I’m ready for full-blown book signings yet, I do plan on targeting libraries and book clubs as well as anywhere else I think I stand a shot.  I guess we’ll see.  Much like a lot of authors out there, I’m still looking for my silver bullet.  I’ll let you know when I find it.

All the while, though, I plan to keep writing and churning out more fun stories.  So stay tuned, there’s more to come...hopefully much more.

Don't miss Rick's other book, Poptart Manifesto. It's 99 cents on Amazon, or free for Amazon Prime members with Kindles. Bigfoot Hunters is also currently promoted as free to Amazon Prime members with Kindles. Apparently it's time for me to upgrade from a Kindle app to a full-blown Kindle! Who can turn down free books? You can get a Kindle for as little as $79! Or a full-color Kindle Fire for $199 (that's the one I want).